Kalamazoo Man Shocked to Discover It’s Not Raining

KALAMAZOO, MI - After having resigned himself to a summer of movie nights, video gaming, and other indoor activities, local man Mark F. is stunned to discover a giant ball of flame perched in the sky had helped to disperse the rain clouds. "I don't know if I can trust it to stay. I've been hurt before," remarks Mark F. He sucked his teeth and followed his statement up with, "Not my first rodeo." To celebrate the first day of summer, Mark F. plans to continue the Sisyphean task of bailing water out of his basement, while at the same time entertaining the idea of grilling out with friends this weekend. "But you know what happens, right? Right when you make plans... boom, overcast." Coming to terms with his feelings, Mark F. admitted that he may no longer be smitten with the Mitten.