An Open Letter to the Couple Who Called Me Rude

Dear Touristy Couple Who Called Me Rude,

Oh, man... is there egg on my face, or what?  I mean, there I was, waiting patiently for a table at my cousin's restaurant in South Haven, when you were walking out with what appeared to be a wine list in your hand.  I overheard one of you say to the other, "We've got to find something to do with this," gesturing to the 'wine list'.  I offered to take it, I mean, while I wait, I may as well get a good look at what might pair well with the mac-and-cheese d'jour.  You handed it to me, I glanced at it, and much to my surprise, I discovered it was NOT a wine list, but, rather, a comment card.  Seeing hand writing, I immediately tried to apologize and explain my faux pas, when you snatched the card out of my hand, shouted at me that you thought I worked there, and then accused me of being "rude".  Every attempt I made at an explanation was interrupted by the two of you talking over me again, and again, and again, until you both finally left the building. After a few beats of awkward silence, another patron looked at me and said, "I thought it was a wine list, too."

So, really?  Really, Touristy Couple Who Called Me Rude?  You've never made a mistake in your obviously comfy, WASPy little lives?  You are in too big a rush to get back to your Glamp Ground to receive a sincere apology?  I don't think you deserve an apology.  If you two were normal, chemically-balanced human beings, our interaction would have ended with a good chuckle, a knowing nod, and a "That's okay, it happens, have a good night."  Instead, you embarrassed YOURSELVES by being two of the rudest people I have ever met.

Just to prove that there are no hard feelings, I leave you with an adorable picture of a six-week-old slow loris and it's mother.  You're welcome.  Have a nice day.