Battle Creek Is Getting An Olive Garden on Beckley Rd.

Battle Creek will soon be home to a brand new Olive Garden located next to Target on Beckley Rd. WWMT reported that Olive Garden Holdings, LLC asked for a recommendation from Battle Creek city commission, which was unanimously passed 9-0.

Battle Creek's Commissioner and Mayor have already expressed excitement for the unlimited soup salad and breadsticks that will eventually become available once construction is completed on the new location.

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Who Remembers The Bot Commercial?

Whenever I think of Olive Garden it instantly takes me back to when I was working for Red Lobster, which at the time also belonged to the parent company Darden Restaurants. There was a comedy writer who posted a tweet saying that he forced a bot to watch 1000 hours of Olive Garden commercials and then wrote a script for a commercial, which read as the following:

The scene opens with a group of friends meeting at Olive Garden for dinner, when a waitress delivers "what could be considered food."

"Food" includes pasta nachos that are "warm and defeated," lasagna wings with "extra Italy," and unlimited stick.

The waitress and the rest of the friend group completely ignore Friend 2, who declares "I shall eat Italian citizens." Instead, the waitress breezes past and tells the group that Olive Garden's unlimited stick "is infinite."

"It is all," she says ominously.

The script takes a more menacing tone when, after being asked what's wrong, Friend 4 silently opens her mouth and reveals it's full of "secret soup."

Then in what the script calls a "wet voice" the announce says: "Olive Garden. When You're Here, You're Here."

Olive Garden, Battle Creek can't wait for you to be here.