Celerytone: The Miracle Cure Made in Kalamazoo
Twenty drops of Celerytone was the antidote for nervousness, exhaustion, headaches, insomnia and impotency. This 19th century cure-all was made in Kalamazoo.
Kalamazoo is world-famous for Gibson guitars, Checker cabs and Bell's beer. Pfizer has now become internationally known for the COVID-19 vaccine. Before that, arguably their most famous product was Viagra. Celerytone was the 1800s version of that- and so much more.
Celerytone was a flavor additive, meant to be used in small doses to add to soups, stews, oysters, "..all mixed and Fancy drinks, Beef Tea and Celery,...Celery Manhattens [sic], Celery Cocktails, etc." according to the label. If you doubled the dosage to twenty drops, it became a miracle in a bottle. Snake-oil salesmen pitched Celerytone as a remedy to "counteract dissipation, excesses, headaches, insomnia, impotency, nervous exhaustion, etc., etc."
The beneficial effect of the peculiar properties of celery upon the nervous and sexual system is wonderful and unequaled. It strengthens exhausted nature, and rejuvenates the entire being, counteracts dissipation, etc."
-Dunkley on Celerytone
A rare, unopened bottle of Dunkley's Kalamazoo Celerytone is for sale, take a look at the photos below. It's hard to make out the label, but it reads, "This Celery tonic is distilled and prepared from the famous Kalamazoo Celery, and contains all of its well known peculiar medicinal properties which act in a wonderful way in all cases of Nervousness, Exhaustion, Stomach Troubles, Impotency, Constipation, Wasted Energies, Excesses, Rheumatism, Gout, Headache."
No prescription was required for Celerytone, and, as the potion was 30% alcohol, you probably didn't have to wait 20 minutes for it to take effect.
Colorized Pictures of Early Kalamazoo That Will Blow Your Mind