How I Almost Completely Flooded The Long-Time Kalamazoo Radio Station

I've said it my entire radio career, "I've been making an ass out of myself my entire life anyway, I may as well get paid to do it." Nothing could have been more true, and for 10 years I've done just that, and more. But yesterday I did something that defied any sense as I almost completely flooded the entire radio station with gallons of water.

How the hell does a radio personality and content creator do such a moronic thing? It all started with a drain attachment that was connected to the hallway wall. There is an attachment that was formerly used for a drinking fountain that WAS located off a wall in one of our hallways. The fountain has long since been removed, but the tremendous water pressure and pipe that was connected to it had never been blocked off.

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So you've got this all but rusted-off-from-the-inside attachment on the wall. During a conversation taking place in the hallway, I casually put my foot on it (Captain Morgan style) but not even with any considerable amount of pressure. I take my foot off and notice a leak coming out. Thinking I accidentally turned the knob, I go to tighten it, and that's when disaster strikes.

The thing explodes off the wall and, in desperation, I try and plug the hole that's blasting me with brown water, luckily from rust. It took the aid of 5 people with paper towels, hand towels, and some buckets to finally get the water shut off after 5 minutes. The longest 5 minutes of my life.

At the end of the day, I'm kind of a hero for doing this with an office full of people. This could have busted off naturally because of that water pressure in the middle of the night, and our whole building could have been underwater.

I guess it's a good thing I bought Bumpy Cake, which will soon be missing from shelves, for the office before this disaster. You could say, I was easily done for the day afterward. Check out the excitement below: