Strange Ways People Eat the Most Common Foods

Buzzfeed just released an article about the strange ways people eat the most common foods.  And let me tell you, friends, I was HORRIFIED by some of the results. Let's run down the list of the most absurd! Fair warning... this list is not for the faint of heart, nor the weak of stomach. If you are eating right now, you might want to reconsider.

Ribs

14% of people surveyed reported eating ribs with a knife and fork. Look, ribs are meant to be ooey and also gooey.  You're supposed to get crap all over your hands and face - and maybe even your hair. There is nothing delicate nor dainty about eating ribs, and I hate to be judgey, but if you're eating ribs with a fork and a knife, you are doing it wrong.

Macaroni and Cheese

19% of people surveyed said they eat macaroni and cheese with a spoon. These are also not college students ran out of forks because they're too lazy to do dishes. No. These are people that think it's socially acceptable to eat pasta with a spoon.

Kit-Kat Bar

I know what you're thinking; how the hell is someone screwing up relishing the chocolaty goodness of a Kit-Kat? Some people, 5% to be exact, don't break them off in to the individual pieces they were always meant to be, but rather take a bite of the WHOLE DAMN THING. I want to believe that they are doing it to annoy someone in their lives and they don't actually prefer to eat them this way, silently crying to themselves when the deed is done.

String Cheese

A SHOCKING 21% of people don't peel it. No, no, no. 21% of people have lost their childhood wonder and take bites. Monsters. Enjoy your grey life.

Pizza

7% of people surveyed think eating pizza crust-first is completely acceptable. Repeat after me; the crust is the handle. It's the handle. Plebs.

Canned Ravioli

Okay, get ready to feel a little nauseated. If you are currently eating anything - even chewing gum - you might want to take a break. 5% of people say they eat canned ravioli straight from the can... cold. I'm gagging at imagining that mouthfeel. If you're a survivalist, or something, and you're out in the middle of nowhere where it has rained for weeks and there's no possible way you could start a fire and keep it going to warm up that one single tin of ravioli you brought along, fine. I get it. Otherwise, gross to you.

Cereal

90% prefer their cereal with milk. 9% prefer it dry. Now, I'm no Mathlete, but that means there's 1% who do something else, and it's grosser than I would have ever imagined. 1% of people report enjoying their cereal with milk and ice. I had such a hard time typing that statement. First, who is putting ice in milk? Is the reason for the ice to keep the milk cold, meaning your cereal would be sitting for a VERY long time in the milk, getting disgustingly soggy? Long enough that the milk would need help staying cold?

I have lost my appetite.