Like an old beat up car, Earth's Moon is apparently getting rusty. According to researchers at NASA, there is just enough Oxygen and H2O (two of the ingredients needed to produce rust) to cause some rustiness to the old girl.  Lets just hope like an old car after a winter in Michigan, that pieces of rust don't begin falling off our Moon.  I mean gravitational force is inversely proportional to the sum of two equal distances....er....something like that. Anyway, the Moon circles our planet pretty fast so I don't know about you but I don't want to be outside one day and get hit upside the head by a rusty moon rock.

I did some digging and started looking around at other planets and their moons.  That got me to thinking - maybe we could switch out our old rusty moon with perhaps a new moon from Saturn or Neptune.  My cousin Billie Jo would just throw a chain around an old rusty car in his yard and haul it away so why couldn't we just do that with the Moon? Lets tow our rust bucket Moon out to Jupiter and bring back one those newfangled shiny yellow or deep blue frozen Moons.  Sure our planet might be wobbly for a few days but in the end, looking up at a bright new shiny Moon would be worth all the dizziness.

And don't feel bad for Earth's Moon either. Our Moon doesn't even have a cool name or trendy nickname like Galatica or Astreroid...its just Moon. How boring Moon.

Here, let me run a couple of new moon suggestions up the flagpole for ya and lets see how she waves.

Jupiter has a Moon named LO.  Almost yellow in its appearance, it's the most active volcanic moon in our solar system. Surely it would be a delight to look at during evening hours as it angrily spewed its volcanic ash into depths of space near our planet.  So we get coated in a little ash soot once in a while, why should Jupiter get all that action. The planet is uninhabited and so seems like such a visual waste.

Neptune has 14 Moons, almost too many to count.  So, much like Mick Jagger who has 8 kids, Neptune would be oblivious to the fact that one of its offspring has been switched out.  Triton is one of Neptune's "gravitationally captured" Moons meaning Neptune doesn't even actually own it.  Triton was just floating around space minding its own business one day several billion year ago when Neptune decided it was going to be bitch and lock it into orbit because I guess 13 moons weren't enough.  You're an ass Neptune, so you know what...we're taking your Moon.

Let me get this petition started to begin the process of replacing Earth's Moon with Neptune's Moon Triton. In the meantime, you guys start piling up any chains you have lying around the yard.  Now I know this isn't rocket science (well, actually I guess it is) but the way I figure it, we'll need several thousand miles of chain, so alert as many friends to help as you can.

It'll be sad to see "Moon" go but its for the best.  I mean what kind of market value can our planet have in the solar system with a rusty old Moon attached to its hip.

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