Great Moments in Facebook History: August 10, 2015

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I scour the interwebs to find the best (and worst) thoughts floating around social media. Without further ado…

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Monday, August 10, 2015:

The only exercise I've done this month is running out of money.
I bet everything you eat and drink at Donald Trump's house has a hair in it.
If you look closely at my 13.1 sticker, you can see a tiny asterisk leading to another sticker that says "*ft."
Finally woke up before the birds, gonna go scream at them.
The devil you know is better than the devil you don't. Unless the devil you know is Steve "Goat Hooves" Kapinski. That guy's the worst.
If you've ever seen a foal being born then you pretty much know what it looks like to watch me get out of a beach chair.
Do butterflies get tattoos of white girls?