Great Moments in Facebook History: June 19, 2015

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I scour the interwebs to find the best (and worst) thoughts floating around social media. Without further ado…

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Friday, June 19th, 2015:

You can pretty much go wherever you want as long as you look serious and are looking at a clip board.
Yes Officer, I carry a knife, but that’s just in case I find a cake.
In the 90s if a woman said “my eyes are up here” it was because a guy was staring at her chest. Today, it’s because he’s staring at his phone.
I see your fitted sheet and raise you a 10-person tent that needs to fit into a duffel bag.
If cheese made you drunk, I wouldn't be able to walk right now.
If someone says they’re gonna open up a can of whoop ass, that means someone out there is canning whoop ass…I’d be more afraid of that second guy.