Great Moments in Facebook History: June 18, 2014

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Wednesday, June 18th, 2014:

• My car doesn’t have a passenger airbag but don’t worry, if we get in an accident all the McDonalds napkins in the glove box will cushion you.
• Hey dude who flipped me off in the Subway parking lot for honking at you, you left your dinner on top of your car.
• My extra sensitive toothpaste doesn’t like it when I use other toothpastes.
• I arrived late to work today. Boss Yells “You should of been here at 8:00!” I reply: “Why? what happened at 8:00?” apparently…….. that was not the answer he was looking for.
• Wow.  You’re the type of guy I’d make a sandwich for.
• Facebook needs a button that's the equivalent of kicking someone under the table to stop them from making a fool of themselves.
• If people talked to everyone the same way they talk to their pets, there would be a lot of confusion over who's handsome.

(Found on Status Stalker, Funny Status, and Failbook)