If Kalamazoo Bars Had Tinder Profiles
Kalamazoo bars certainly offer up something for every walk of life, and each attracts a specific clientele. Some have mastered the art of making space for conversation. Other's beg you to join in cheering along to see a football victory. From old wood to neon signs, every bar is unique from one to another.
So, if Kalamazoo bars had Tinder profiles, would you swipe right... or left?
Age: 57.
Occupation: own my own construction business
Profile pic: Cropped photo taken at a family reunion in 2008. Salt and pepper hair, sunglasses, striped button-down shirt.
One fun fact about me: I have an Etsy store where I sell furniture I’ve made from found wood.
Favorite Toast: “Here’s to the floor, who will hold you when no one else will. May we get what we want, but never what we deserve.”
Age: 21.
Occupation: Student, delivery driver
Profile pic: Shirtless, backwards baseball cap, sunglasses, necklace, holding a freshly caught fish
One fun fact about me: I have broken more bones than any other person in my family, combined.
Favorite Toast: "To Hell. May the stay there be as enjoyable as the way there."
Age: 23.
Occupation: Bartender now, but I’m working on my first novel
Profile pic: Artsy black and white photo taken two years ago for a photography project in college, reclined on a chaise lounge but looking more exhausted than relaxed.
One fun fact about me: Once I'm done with grad school I am so outta here.
Favorite Toast: “May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you’re dead.”
Age: 61
Occupation: Retired
Profile pic: Close-up, camo print trucker hat, aviator sunglasses, beard/mustache combo, toothpick to the right side of mouth.
One fun fact about me: I do my own taxidermy.
Favorite toast: "Here's to the nights we won't remember and the friends we'll never forget."
Age: 41.
Occupation: Eaton
Profile pic: Night shot, slightly blurry; Taken at his best friend’s annual Labor Day party in 2013. High and tight haircut, white button down, khakis. Holding a bottle of a Kalamazoo craft beer. Laughing at something off camera.
One fun fact about me: I’m currently rebuilding a 1967 Chevy Camero.
Favorite Toast: “Some ships are wooden ships, but those ships may sink. The best ships are friendships, and to those ships we drink.”
Age: 36.
Occupation: Teacher/Forensics coach
Profile pic: Cropped photo of last year’s Forensics championship; Flat cap, full beard, button down with the sleeves rolled up to ¾. Giant smile.
One fun fact about me: I had the honor and privilege of having one of my stories featured on “Moth Radio Hour.”
Favorite Toast: “May those who love us, love us, and those who don’t, may God turn their hears, and if He doesn’t turn their hearts, may He turn their ankles so we’ll know them by their limping.”
Age: 31.
Occupation: IT full time, musician part time – looking to switch those two around
Description of profile pic: Tight close-up, trilby hat, mustache, gauged earlobes. Holding a copy of his most recent CD just under his mustache. CD art is black and white, photo of him standing on railroad tracks.
Fun fact about me: I play hammered dulcimer in two bands.
Favorite Toast: “May we never go to hell, but always we on our way.”
Age: 21.
Occupation: Student
Profile pic: Bathroom selfie, duckface, peace sign. Long hair, tank top, sun hat.
One fun fact about me: I can touch my tongue to my nose.
Favorite quote: “Here’s to those who’ve seen us at our best and seen us at our worst and can’t tell the difference.”
Age: 28
Occupation: Physical Education teacher
Description of profile pic: Selfie taken while at the game, backwards cap, sunglasses, favorite player's jersey
One fun fact about me: I have seen my team play in 18 states.
Favorite Toast: "Here's to you and here's to me, the best of friends we'll ever be. And if we ever disagree, well, f*ck you and here's to me!"
Age: 21.
Occupation: Student, Suicide Girl
Profile pic: Bare back shot of new tattoo
One fun thing about me: I have 9 piercings; only 3 are visible.
Favorite toast: "May the best of our past be the worst of our future."
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