If I'm to believe everything I'm told about winters in Michigan, then I'm in for one heck of a ride, and according to one of my friends in Texas... "You may not survive."

Where I lived before, IF we got more than a couple of inches of snow, chances are, it was gone within a day or two, because it was 70-80 degrees by the next day. From the day I told people I was moving to Michigan, I have been told some absolute horror stories about what I'm going to experience, so here are the expectations I've come to believe will be my new Winter Hell.

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INSANE AMOUNTS OF SNOW

I've seen snow before, and I've seen a fair amount of snow at times. But it never really lasted long. I think the most I've ever seen with my own eyes might have been 8-10 inches. At that height, it wasn't just schools that closed. Businesses, delivery services, restaurants, and entire governments shut down. Pretty sure even the road crews said "screw it, I'll plow tomorrow."

But apparently, that's child's play compared to what I'll see up here. There are literal sticks on the fire hydrants that are approximately 4 feet high, so you can find a fire hydrant during the winter. And apparently, Kalamazoo is right in line with the tail-end of lake-effect snow from lake Michigan. So, we get even MORE snow here than in other parts of the Mitten. I'll be buried by November.

Things I'm expecting to need: An 8-foot shovel, GPS, just in case the snow is over my head, and I have to dig my way to my truck... or to work... or just to get the mail.

FREEZING MY SKIN OFF

I've been gloating to my friends back home about how great the summer was up here. Highs in the mid-80s during the peak of summer. I've had my A/C turned off since September, and they're still sweltering in 90-degree heat. But they all have the same response: "Just wait 'til Winter."

It's been beaten into my brain that the temperatures in Michigan during the winter are simply grueling, beyond the comprehension of my feeble mind. MONTHS of staying below freezing. WEEKS of staying below Zero. Wind Chills that will literally freeze and break your hair off. Frostbite in seconds. I fear for my skin to make it until the spring.

Things I'm Expecting to Need: 12-layers of clothing every day, a constant source of heat, supplies to start a fire at a moment's notice, and stock in hand warmers.

DO YOU HAVE 4-WHEEL DRIVE?

It's literally the first question I get asked when people find out I'm not from here. "Oh, you're new here. Welcome to Michigan. Do you own a Jeep?"

No, I don't. I do own a pickup, which is nearly paid off. So the idea of getting something new right now just hurts. Sadly, it's not even a 4x4 pickup, and NO, it does not have snow tires.

So by those expectations, I've come to believe that when it "REALLY gets snowing," I'm just not going to go anywhere... not because I don't want to, I just won't be able to. It will be physically impossible for a pickup with standard tires to drive on the roads.

Things I'm Expecting to Need: Tank Tracks for my truck, a snowmobile to get to work, and my own personal snow plow.