Great Moments in Facebook History: April 28, 2014

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Monday, April 28, 2014:

• "Can anyone tell me wot type ov eggs can I get my lil boy if he is lack toast and tolerant?"
• I just dipped cheese in nacho cheese...I feel like a genius.
• The first rule of breakfast club is don't you forget about me.
• I listen to the first 30-45 seconds of a butt dial like I'm an FBI agent in a surveillance van.
• When your girlfriend or wife says "lol have fun", do not have fun. Abort mission. I repeat. Abort mission.
• It's so awkward when you are digging a pit to hide a body & you find another body.
• Sometimes when I'm bored I like to go to the mall, find a great parking spot, and just sit in my car with the reverse lights on.
• If your problem can’t be solved by me saying “damn” and nodding a lot, then you shouldn’t come to me for help.
• According to my Nike wristband pedometer, I just masturbated for four miles

(Found on Status Stalker, Funny Status, and Failbook)