Valentine’s Day Gift Giving Advice
Contrary to what advertisers want you to believe, not every woman is the same. I know, I know, I’m blowing your mind right now. Every year, I roll my eyes at Valentine’s day commercials, lumping women into one of three gift-giving categories: jewelry, flowers, or chocolate dipped things. Bonus category in recent years? A giant Vermont Teddy Bear. Here’s the inner-monologue for women receiving these gifts when they are CLEARLY not the type to receive them:
- Jewelry: “I’m no fashionista, but for some reason, I feel those diamond studs and tear-drop necklace clash with my hoodie and Chuck Taylors. That little box is going in to be lost in the back of a drawer for a few years.”
- Flowers: “How the hell am I going to get a vase full of water home without incident? Ugh. I’m going to be finding petals and pollen and rogue leaves in my car for weeks…”.
- Chocolate: “I’ll eat theTrinidads, but the rest of this is going in the break room. You’re welcome, Barb in Accounting.”
- Teddy Bear: “What. The. F*ck. Am I a 5-year-old?”
I know I sound jaded (because I am), but take the time to learn what your significant other actually likes. She might actually be a jewelry/flowers/chocolate person, but, then again, she might be a Netflix pants/Mini-golf/Chinese Take-Out fan. Knowing your audience is key to a successful, and stress-free Valentine’s Day. You’re welcome.